The power of change

SET YOURSELF FREE, and the rest will follow.

I originally titled this post, “Why am I deaf to myself?” but a period of time has lapsed between starting and finishing this post. However let us return to the start.

Five months ago I wrote that change was coming, that I had got myself to the point of action. Well how wrong was I? And that horoscope quote came back to nip me on the bum – damn it. I turned down what was an incredible opportunity for a next job – I had achieved the almost impossible which was an academic role after being out of academia for a dozen years. Why did I slam the door in my own face? I was kicking myself a month later and could not see the answer as to why I had done that.

It is more than this role that I was deaf to though. I say to myself time after time that I am putting too much of myself into work and not enough into living. And yet I let it happen again, and again. Well I have finally cracked it – somewhat inelegantly. With no notice I took two weeks of work off at the end of November – precipitated by I do not know exactly what, other than I was in a complete funk, and the thought of being at work was more than I could bear. Perhaps the trigger was that I had been at work in Sydney, and then Torquay and the thought of heading physically back in to the office was just too much.

And do you know what I did at the end of those two weeks? I resigned! I finish up at the end of this month. And I feel free. For the first time in a very long time I do not know what is next, and do you know what, that pleases me more than anything.  I have managed to exit the treadmill. I have created possibility and it feels powerful. Time for reinvention, realignment, or who knows what, and I am excited.

Would love to hear if you have done something similar, or want to do something similar…


4 thoughts on “The power of change

  1. Ah…that sounds like the impossible dream right now…! I’d love to quit and pursue more creative enterprises plus focus more on my health (i.e. fitness!). Still saving and working on making turning the side hustle into an income stream, but my loathing of the day job is getting worse, so 2017 is going to be the year I finally do something about getting out. All the best on what you decide to do next.. keep us posted 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mmm. Almost a year ago I had a meltdown at work and went off sick. For 5 months. Only just starting to find my old self now. Turning down a great job opportunity? If it wasn’t for you, it wasn’t that great and that’s OK, if it really was great, why?
    It may not be your kind of thing but I have got into Nichren Buddhism which has helped me. I read a really good book by David hare, the Buddha in me the Buddha in you a handbook for happiness. Worth a read even if you don’t want to get into the Buddha thing🙂 Anyhow, I hope that you find the happiness you are looking for. 🤗🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nice to know that it’s not just me, though sorry to hear you had a meltdown. Caught myself just in time I’m guessing, and I think that’s why I didn’t take the new job opportunity. Probably would have moved the problems rather than really resolving them.
      Thanks for recommending a book. There are elements of buddhism that have appeal. Glad to hear that you are starting to find your old self. Strange that we don’t take better care of ourselves.


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